"IS IS THAT, FUEL?"

well, lots of military bases endure subpar commanders. Sometimes they deserve their reputation and sometimes not.

We had one temporarily replaced for PDA dykeness in the front yard. Which was sad because she was good leader lol. The guy who was interrim commander at our squadron in Keesler actually staged an Air Force Dining In for the students to make up for the sad days this may have caused the more socially minded troops.

Well the base commander at the WVANG unit I enlisted with, hm. He was an Air Force academy graduate. Not the most popular type of officer in the ANG apparently. Lol

He also bore an unfortunate resemblance to the insurance company CEO in the CGI hero movie, The Incredibles. I'd call it an incredible coincidence.



Anyhow the fellow who became my boss really had it in for this officer. I never got the full scoop of poop on him, but one publicly noticeable thing that made him so special to some of the enlisted men was his stutter.

My boss claimed that this commander was a frequent liar, sort of like frequent flier except different.

The "tell", like in a poker game, that apparently indicated a lie being told, was that this guy would suddenly trip over the phrase "is that" and be caught in a lie.

Well, i was working in fuel cell and for whatever reason, had befouled my BDUs with JP8 fuel. It stank really bad to anyone who wasn't deadened to the odor by hours of exposure.

I ended up in this meeting after work was over. Some mandatory shit we had to attend after work so the commander could address us.

The room was full except for a few contintental seats in the middle of the room. I staggered over fat thighs etc and found a seat. Paper pushers started gagging on the fuel fumes, lol.

But in spite of this, I was keen to see if my boss was telling the truth about this supposedly fibbing frequent flier.

Sure enough, the good Colonel flubbed a number of lines, treated us to a few explanations, and every time i heard him say, "is is that", "is is is that", deep in my soul I wondered, "is is that true?"

"GIRLS GIRLS GIRLS"

All of the guys in my shop reacted uniquely to the introduction of females to the unit. Apparently I was the first young woman, or any woman actually, to be there.
(In the shop)edit lol

It was a Great Experiment! I think the recruiter said something about great experience? It was both.

The most horrible moment as a womanin the air force, for me personally, wasn't about being touched or staying at the bar too late, nothing quite so forthright.

Apparently one of the mid ranking guys in my shop had a hissy fit one day at work. They must have gossiped about my lack of direction or something, I'm not sure, but before lunch, probably around 10am or 1000 as you like it, one of the Tech sergeants abruptly stops what he's doing to tell me personally, I was The Reason this shop had to remove all the pin ups and girly magazines from the walls.

Apparently this guy was used to having a hardon all day at work before girls actually worked there, and people were fine with that.

This guy also liked videos. He was often the recipient of prank videos, like shock jock humor, people sent him un PC shit pretty often.

Well one day he opens his email and theres a video of this man in shorts on a bed, on his hands and knees. A 400 lb woman comed up behind him in a bikini and bludgeons him with her gut.

This asshat watched this video in front of all us trainees lol. Unapologetically. He was a piece of shit...

A funnier episode was the shop chief telling me to print out a picture of a battery. I go over to a computer that's logged in by boss of my boss. Knowing it's scary to use other people's computers, I googled the image my boss needed and tried to retrieve it from the hard drive. I did not print it directly from the web because at the time my OCD included saving all images. Lol

So when i opened My Pictures on this guy's computer trying to find Battery.jpg.

You wouldn't believe all the hilarious multicolored bikini pictured were in the way. I was so fucking embarrassed. My boss laughed his ass off.

But you know what? I wasn't offended by it even though it was surprising. The guy in question was so discreet about his enjoyment of such pictures that we didn't even know about them. Lol


But the lower ranking guy i mentioned with the hatred for women in the service, kept a porno mag in his desk inside another magazine, and would unabashedly loan it out to the other guys so they could jack off in the restroom at work.

When I disappeared into the shitter indefinitely people noticed and complained. Lol.


Anyhow. My grandfather was a shop chief in the Air Force and was proud to be able to tell us girls, even 30 years ago there were men in the military who cared about ethical standards. He says one of his first actions was removal of porn from the workplace.

I wasn't cut from the same cloth as he was in terms of work ethic and performance, but thanks to his insight, it was harder for the occasional pieces of shit in my shop to discriminate.



t became quite clear, who was the alpha, beta, males lol.

"Flight Line Driving Instructor"

Oh shit. I think this was told on the other forum but is worth retelling.


A couple of us ANG folk, one way or another, liked to cruise around in second hand sedans that happened to look like police cars. Mine was sheer accident, Buick doesnt really look like a police cruiser unless it's dark outside and the lights are on bright, lol.

The other person in this tale drove a Mercury, which is typically big, bulky, looks like it could be anyone including an off duty cop.

I wasn't far off in guessing this person had... a personal investment in the street before us.



On my way to work, it being a 97 mile commute each way, I tended to sort of disregard certain standards of speed and adjustment to obstacles. I drove like a maniac and enjoyed it very much.

Well one morning early early in Charleston, sky still that black and navy blue tone that hides everything but the paintbrush of a headlight, i was trying to take the ramp off the interstate to get access to the hill up to Yeager airport.

This guy in the enormous Mercury decides to accelerate wildly and prevent me from merging. We raged a while and I was willing to go faster & flipped him off. Unfortunately i had a black watch on my wrist the size of a piece of chicken and he saw it.

I was able to get ahead and turn off & around at a building en route to the base so that he went thru the security gate in front of me.

When i saw the old fart who doubled as our base's flightline driving instructor, it was sort of hard to believe.

He would not let it drop, so i drew a frame by frame comic book replica of the incident and hung it in the flightline shack.

It was gone in an hour and he stopped telling the story as if someone had sewed his fat mouth shut.

"Find your Fucking Bag"

Lol in basic training the older folks were really tired after 1st day inprocessing horseshit.

Imagine jail booking and add 10 hours. Maybe not that many hours... but God! It felt like half the day.

My busload got to Lackland early in the afternoon or evening and after going into one of the buildings, we were unable to see other trainees coming and going.

My surname started with P so I was toward the end of most lines at Lackland, even on 1st day. The people in rear do tend to get sleepy and complacent.

Eventually we were done with that crap and marched back out to get our bags. Somehow i was the last idiot out the door and didn't even see the person in front of me pick up their bag.

...

Before i knew wtf was happening this huge tall scary TI with the big black trooper hat was in my face screaming Pick up your bag
Why haven't you picked up your bag
Find your fucking bag

Lol i can't remember what else he screamed.

I do remember there was like... 100 or 1,000 duffel bags that said Air National Guard on them and he screamed until i found mine. Lmfao.

It was scary. Amplified by the shape of the stupid building too!

"Some Kind of Disco"
&
"OK Silence of the Yams"

One of the gals in my flight at Lackland was an African American lady of above average height and above average weight. She showed up to Basic Military Training in pink flip flops and a pleated skirt.

One of the TIs showing us up to the dorm was this sharp tongued blonde chick named Sgt Schrader. Because it was after bedtime. Haha.

Well she goes up to this poor gal who dressed for the waterpark and asks,

"What the hell did you think this was, some kind of disco?"


Holy shit, right? Of course half of us laughed and Sgt Schrader took note of which ones. We got singled out later lol.

This lady lost her TI hat for a lil while during my stay at bmt,btw. A male recruit said a shitty thing to her and she offered to cut off his junk. Eek.

...

When we got upstairs she passed out the drawer keys etc. Lol i got yelled at when we were told to unlock our security drawers because she'd said not to remove the chain from our neck.

I started taking mine off to unlock the drawer and Schrader made me get on my hands and knees like a dog and unlock it in front of the other people.


Also i had a tshirt on that said Silence of the Yams, lol.
She noticed this while assigning beds and said "Ok Silence of the Yams, i have a special place for you!"

She put me on a top bunk next to a single bed on one side with an African American lady (who was very nice) below me and the next bed over waa this mean but hilarious younger African American gal named Green.

Omg Sgt Schrader tried very hard to be a bitch.
I didn't even know what Ghetto means in modern context and repeated what one of my neighbors said, well the next day a huge ass print on my bed before inspection and my shoe display got kicked.


....... bitch. Lol