Oh God. <--klik


Murphy's love laws


All the good ones are taken.


If the person isn't taken, there's a reason.


The nicer someone is, the farther away (s)he is from you

.
Brains x Beauty x Availability = Constant.
This constant is always zero.
Sent by Van Den Bossche Jochen


The amount of love someone feels for you is inversely proportional to how much you love them.

Money can't buy love, but it sure gets you a great bargaining position.

The best things in the world are free --- and worth every penny of it.


Every kind action has a not-so-kind reaction.


Nice guys (girls) finish last.


The good ones die first.
Sent by Henry

If it seems too good to be true, it probably is.


Availability is a function of time. The minute you get interested is the minute they find someone else.


The more beautiful the woman is who loves you, the easier it is to leave her with no hard feelings.


Nothing improves with age.


No matter how many times you've had it, if it's offered take it, because it'll never be quite the same again.

Sex has no calories

Etc

The likelihood of possessing a type of battery is dramatically diminished by realizing a need for the type.

If the right type of battery actually exists in your home at the time it is needed, it will immediately convert itself into the next size up or down, become one of the most numerous unneeded types in your home, cease to exist, or kill itself.

Any electronic remotes with a chance of containing the battery you want automatically gain 90% concealment at the time you begin searching. Treat as if camouflaged and/or behind cover.

Any boxes or bags with over 50% likelihood of containing your preferred battery gain two uses of Teleport , castable at will; this spell is triggered by the owner's thoughts and or the object in qiestion falling into line of sight.

When you start looking for your batteries, reroll all Give Aways initiated within the last 12 months to reflect a 50%retroactive likelihood of having gifted the neighbors kids with any batteries that now exist in your line of sight.

Any search for batteries regardless of type results in an increase of local clutter by a magnitude of 3.

Yeah, what is it with that? Seriously true.