She has pulled up anchor and set her sail. She sits.
Twenty one days navigating alone on a ravenous sea, tsunami waves lifting her tiny ship to great heights and then the crashing fall, towed under then surfacing for a breath, then down again drowning in the sorrow of it all. The churning of the waters of life on the cosmic sea.
Sorrow is an alchemical pain if you ride the full of it just as joy is on the other side. These past twenty one days have been the the fullness of both, mixing within my soul. Memories have surfaced from both fields in a continuous stream of reckoning. Pieces of me from the walk of many lives, like shards of a crystal they come in flashes of illuminating light or take me into the furthest depths, the deep.
Words like forgiveness and intent lose all meaning when swallowed up whole. It comes to one thing, it is or it is not, real or fantasy. Any attempt to put words to this will fall short for this realization can not be spoken of in the language of man, only hinted at in metaphor and analogy. Reading my own writing of many years always aware that as I put my fingers to the keyboard that I was Self speaking to self I see that what is laid out is my own trajectory both inward and out.
The three questions that started this quest were: Who am I, Where did I come from, and Where am I going? Weighty in there intent for most of humanity is subconsciously asking them without knowing they are. The answer for most is ‘I don’t know’. So we have the giant exaggerated play on the world stage and the obvious answer is that we the collective of human thought don’t have a clue. My truthful answer is I don’t know either which brings me to the truth of the necessity to question everything. To not let one interpretation stand, in this questioning I see. Every truth has an equal and opposite truth, every energy has a polarity. And yet Truth is the highest call. Quite a pickle isn’t it?
We will never know by looking outward nor by looking for someone else to fill-in the blank space. We are both the in and the out.
There have been great minds and souls on the Earth and they have pointed the way from the beginning of time. “Know Thyself and to ThySelf be true.” I hear the screech of the whole of human dilemmas in the echo chamber of time, how do I know the truth?
My calm self answers, you are the truth.
Trusting the Spirit of All Things is a guiding light when it emanates from within.