The Unbearable Weight of Being
She has been pondering in some deep cosmic seas these past few days. Something substantial, some thing big has occurred. She is scanning to see what it might be.
It feels very, very personal and at the same time so expansive that it verges on a feeling of terror, weird. So let her get to IT, allow that she allow herself the gift to wonder and wander.
She can’t hear the linear thought forms any longer, they irritate her to no end, the endless lines of words that ultimately loop back to where they began, in some long forgotten simulation of Life. Some ancient technology left in this organic cosmic light realm, looping and looping back to IT self again, while the passengers unknowingly and unconsciously fulfill ITs commands.
Programs
Systems
Beliefs
Words
Lies
Entering the fields of the meta-mystical, enter the way of the warrior, the rebel, the uninitiated, the damned even. Yes, the damned, for is it not those who dared challenge, who came crashing into this reality, who fell from heavenly thrones, those who relinquished the perfected for the imperfect… does not the system damn them?
She dares ask what did you come here for?
She asks herself this in a constant stream of consciousness, in the fluidity of a state of Being that Knows herself as joy and laughter, as Love. Then she crashes into a immovable object, a obtuseness, into a wall that appears impenetrable. She sits with it. What does it feel like, where is it, why is it here? Questions that currently are left unanswered. She leaves them standing and takes a detour for the moment.
The internal screams, it is holding back some aspect reaching for an expression, she will find the way, this she Knows.
She climbs the mountain again, stands there alone… so terrible this aloneness, she hears the thoughts of others saying oh no! not me. She laughs as she Knows better, just how terrible this aloneness really is. She knows the trauma of absolute abandonment, she remembers and she cries real tears as she writes these words. You know too.
So you build your walls, your lies, your subterfuge is subtle, oh so subtle hoping no one will notice. She sees, she watches. As she sees she knows that you too will take this time to find what only you can find within you. She must stand alone and so must you. She honors this and in the same breath she cries.
This longing is so deep, so excruciating as it exacts Real beauty. Here she pauses, the essence of the rose.
She is deciphering beyond words now, yet she reaches for them to convey to you the senses of what she hears. The letting go of control, such an illusion when the Cosmic winds blow, she smiles now. A little laugh escapes her lips. She substitutes knowing for control, she learns to navigate the vastness of this space she is. The only sound she hears is the beating of her own Heart, it informs her now of where she needs to Be.
She lays bare for all to see. She radiant Star that fell to Earth, She who you don’t see. The bones and ash, the living and the dying, she scoops them up in her Cosmic breath and scatters them like feathers on the wind. Let them fall or rise where they may.
These are the days my friends, the ones you thought would never end
… a whole Book is closing, we are writing the final pages now. She recalls days long gone when her hand held quill and ink flowed upon the page to preserve the memory for these times that she knew then would come. Again she cries, lost in the memories. No time for adornment now, the urgency is palatable and visceral in her body. She despairs that so many keep this door to themselves so tightly shut.
Silence
Vastness
Stands